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You wouldn’t believe it, Jessie J says. There she was readying for her comeback record in eight years, blissfully happy with her current love, and at long last the mother of a toddler after facing fertility challenges for a decade, on top of the world. Suddenly in March she was told she had breast cancer.

The musician, birth name Jessica Cornish, is famous for speaking her mind. The album, her latest release, was meant as an transparent story, dealing with every bit of hardship she’d faced since she last recorded music (endometriosis, pregnancy loss, broken romances, emotional abuse, suicidal thoughts) with her usual frankness. The first single, No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there was a mighty secret. Her diagnosis. Then follow-up track, Living My Best Life, was released in late spring and she was speaking publicly about how she was thriving, while still secretly living with her cancer. Subsequently she shared the news, and in early July she had a mastectomy.

She shoots me her best “Are you kidding?” expression. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m doing every media appearance, and they’re, like, ‘Any updates?’ and I’m, like, ‘Well, not much…’” Cornish has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s yet to undergo follow-up surgery.

We’re at a photography studio in London. She is wearing a light brown synthetic jacket, denim trousers with detailed white appliqués, off-white boots and oversized specs. Picture biker chic meets 70s singer aesthetic. “As if I’m in the 1970s and I should have a man with facial hair.” A biker reference, I say, referencing the movie. “I was nicknamed that in school!” She beams. Cornish is fast-thinking, bold and filter-free. She says she has always been interested in humor and is aiming for her initial standup show in the coming year. “I love making people laugh. On stage I basically roast the crowd.”

Health Struggles and Diagnosis

Cornish was planning an performance at the Baftas when she found a lump. “I promptly visited to get it looked at, had an scan, and they told me, ‘It looks like nothing; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I responded, ‘But I can feel it. My arm hurts and tingling in my hands whenever I rise.’ And they said, ‘Well, let’s just do a biopsy?’ That was 28 March, the day after my birthday.” It was a Friday. The physician told her if it was serious she’d contact on the start of the week. By then Cornish had persuaded herself it was okay. The way she describes it, it was inopportune to receive a diagnosis when she had so much on.

“It was a fortnight prior from debuting the project after a long hiatus and an extended break. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I thought, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I join the call believing it’s all going to be good, and she informs me, ‘Please take a seat.’ The solemn tone? And she reveals, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your biopsy results have indicated aggressive cancer.’” How did you respond? “I replied, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. What awful timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”

Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am

She found the surgery terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. They lead you. During crises you go on a gurney, but then I just marched with a medical attire and my rear exposed. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she adds, she’s been lucky. Without chemo or radio, just the surgery. “Cancer sucks, man, but yet Thank fuck I found it early. The surgery happened four months ago and my right breast now resembles a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” Another grin. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”

The subsequent surgery is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her boobs, she observes, are now “asymmetrical. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. So inconsiderate! I reflected, why make it worse, I’m already having a rough time. Such disrespect! It’s funny because I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be perfect. My plans were disrupted.”

A History of Health Challenges

She is no stranger to illness. She feels her attitude toward illness has been so upbeat because she’s used to medical emergencies. They have often coincided with career highs, acting as a reminder, or punch in the stomach, to remind her not to take anything for granted. “Honestly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘Enjoying yourself? Sit down.’ Since childhood, it has consistently accompanied high points for me; a major or strange event has happened to my health.”

She recalls to her youth, already making her debut starring in the West End in Whistle Down the Wind (she was chosen at the age of nine). That’s when she was told about the heart condition WPW, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as lightheadedness and irregular beats. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an IV drip, and going back into hospital at night.” She jumps ahead several years, and 17-year-old Jess has joined the female band Soul Deep while enrolled in the Brit School. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was planning to release songs in recently I had a car crash and my voice box shifted and I lost my voice for a twelve months.”

Wow, I say, wait, I need a moment. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees